22 TIPS FOR WHEN YOU GET STUCK WHEN A FAMILY IS SO ANGRY THAT THEY DO NOT WANT TO PLAN OR TEAM WITH YOU First listen. Hear their perspective reflect back to show you are paying attention and use your best listening skills to help the person or family feel heard. Engagement. Talk quietly and at a pace that is calming not condescending but calming. Find points of agreement ask for ideas and above all have your body language show that you are listening openly. Engagement. Then listen again. Repeat what you heard as the major points and make sure you heard correctly. Empathize with the emotions that are expressed and find ways to reinforce that you can see strengths in the youth or family. I know this must be really frustrating for you and your family. You obviously care a lot about what is happening. Engagement and Assessing Understanding.