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26 WHEN YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVERWHELMEDWITH THE TRAUMA AND CIRCUMSTANCES OF THE FAMILY Take a deep breath. Oxygen helps. Listen not only for loss but for resilience. Many families tell us of loss and trauma from the past. In telling us these stories they are also sharing what they have survived. Remember that although you and the youth cannot rewrite the past you can help them write the future. With the support of a team that has resources and commitment this may be a turning point for a child youth or family.